27-year-old wife gets angry at husband for attending his brother's destination wedding because she couldn't get 5 days off work to attend: 'She's giving me the cold shoulder.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 9, 2025 8:00 AM EST

Why would he skip his brother's wedding so he could sit at home with her?

A destination wedding can be a real pain. Unless you are going to the most beautiful location on planet Earth, you're probably not going to want to fly internationally to watch your high school friend get hitched. It's expensive, inconvenient, and a waste of your precious vacation time. It's hard enough to have to fly domestically to see your friends who live in different cities get married, but if you have jet lag during the vows, forget about it. I would only do that if it were my sister or best friend getting married. 

Destination weddings can be a sensible option for certain couples. For instance, if they have family in a foreign country, it might be cheaper to have the wedding there than to fly out Grandma and all the aunts. If your family is well-off enough that international travel isn't even a drop in the bucket, then bring on the Mykynos wedding ceremony! Also, if your wedding only has 10 guests, you might be able to afford to splurge in other areas, like travel expenses. 

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  • A bride and groom standing on a dock in front of beautiful mountains
    via Micah & Sammie Chaffin

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The man in this story had no problem attending his brother's destination wedding. The problem was that his wife couldn't get out of work, so she was unable to attend. You'd think she'd be disappointed, but far from bitter that her husband went without her, but that couldn't be further from what actually happened.

  • Am I wrong for attending my brother's wedding even though my wife couldn't?

    Me & her (both age 27) are in relationship since 6+ years (college time) and got married 2 yrs ago.
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • Happy, healthy relationship overall (what I honestly think). We both are paired well with each other's family too.
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • My younger brother recently got married on 2 Nov. It was a high cost wedding, only the close ones were invited, like 15- 20 people from his side.
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • Me & my wife were obviously invited. The issue is, she works in a bank where leaves are very limited & hard to get.
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • Grey concrete bank building in city
    via Etienne Martin

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I'm carrying my Dad's business, hence I'm my own boss and can take as much leaves as I want.
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • To attend the event, we needed at least 5 days, as it was a destination wedding at a very beautiful place.
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • She tried, but as expected, it wasn't possible for her to come. We both were sad and confused, but I had to tell if I'm coming or not to my brother in advance, as he was doing the travel preparation of everyone in 2 traveller vehicles.
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • So, with a super heavy heart, I decided to go. It isn't like she wasn't invited, the blame goes to the the circumstances...
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • I said the same to her, comforting and asking if she wants me to do any favor before going to the wedding.
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • Got her fav chocolates before going too. She behaved neutral. I knew she was feeling left out, but it was my beloved brother's wedding after all...
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • Opened box of small square chocolates
    via Egor Lyfar

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Now since my return, she's giving me a cold shoulder and gets miffed whenever someone shares the wedding pics or talks about it on the family group.
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • I try to clear my intentions again, but she is listening from one ear and throwing it out from the other one.
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • AITA?
    via u/ComprehensiveHat1319
  • NTA Spare-Shirt24 It is incredibly unreasonable to expect you miss your brother's wedding because her employer didn't approve her time off. She needs to stop acting like a toddler over it.
    via u/Spare-Shirt24
  • NTA. sfzen It's your brother's wedding. Expecting you to miss it just because she can't get off work is incredibly selfish and immature.
    via u/sfzen
  • National Pension_110 NTA. Your wife was invited. She couldn't go. It's your brother, so you couldn't miss it. She's being bratty about it, but hopefully she'll get over it. Does she behave like this in other situations when you disagree? It's passive aggressive behavior and if it happens often, you should address it. If it's just this one thing, maybe see if she stops after a few weeks. But her reaction is a sign of emotional immaturity.
    via u/National_Pension_110
  • keesouth NTA there was no reason for you to miss your brother's wedding. You're wife is just pissy because she missed out hopefully she gets over it soon.
    via u/keesouth
  • Ok_Quantity_4134 OP's account banned/suspended already. Presumably karma farmer or Al bot
    via u/Ok_Quantity_4134
  • TRAFALGAR_D_Law_ Obviously NTA. Your wife is acting childish. Sure she feels left out but it was her job and she couldn't get leave. Neither of you is at fault here. What were you supposed to do to please her? Not go to your brother's wedding? That would make her an AH and very selfish if that is what she wanted. She is acting unreasonable. Sure she is disappointed she couldn't go but it was out of your hands. She shouldn't be giving you cold shoulder over this and treating you like that. If my
    via u/TRAFALGAR_D_Law_
  • Urbanyeti0 NTA the only person she should be annoyed with is her employer, you did the right thing given the circumstances
    via u/Urbanyeti0
  • Left-Heart-6078 NTA, she should understand you wouldn't miss your brother's wedding. It wasn't your fault nor hers but the situation sucked.
    via u/Left-Heart-6078
  • NTA. RachSlixi She should have 100% encouraged you to go. It is your brothers wedding. It isn't like she wasn't invited - she couldn't attend. Expecting you to miss it is selfish. You are married. You aren't co-joined twins.
    via u/RachSlixi
  • Competitive_Ninja668 Definitely NTAH. I would ignore her poor behavior. She's very immature.
    via u/Competitive_Ninja668

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marriage married couple wedding drama destination wedding brother married couples siblings wife wedding ceremony husband wedding family wedding family weddings
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